[duke1401]

On The Radio


Big up to anyone who's getting involved in care & community
'Cos it's the GLC back again
With another rave anthem for you to feast on, ya bstards

I nick stereos, videos and TVs
But when I'm feeling nice I helps cats out of trees
I'm really nice but you don't know that
Because I'll beat you up, cos you look like a tw@t

Nicked a car in the day, driving real fast
Went out to Risker for a quick fcuking blast
When I've finished my run, it's back home for buns
With my mum and her mates, watching re-runs

By day I sells draw with my mates you see
But at night I likes to watch romantic comedy
I likes to watch Friends and Cheers and Frasier
But during the day I might cut you with a razor

You know I likes hip-hop, you know there's no stopping
But I gotta go, to take my nan out shopping
During the day, I gotta clean the house
But you knows I can sort you out with an ounce

There's a shimmy in town, it's drug money I'm exchanging
But when I'm at home, I'm mainly flower arranging
I likes the yellow daisies and the red roses too
But when I've finished that, it's back to sniffing glue

I watch TV in bed, it really is perfection
Then I w@nks over my stamp collection
'Cos that's what I does when I gets home
'Cos the Queen's fcuking head gives me a big fcuking bone

You might be hard, even harder than me
But I bet you can't look after a fcuking Bonsai tree
Had a fight with some kids, and we kicked their as$
Then I took my kid sister to a ballet class

Every beating I does
No matter how hard it is, no matter how many people I wreck up
I always cleans up the blood off my hands and trackie afterwards, innit

Here we go, Benny Blanco

I lives up my nan's, I told you all before
She's not very rich, in fact she's fcuking poor
Not 'cos she blew it on fags and a blow
But she's addicted to fcuking Bingo
I takes her there every Tuesday night
Then it's off to Voodoo's for a fight
I picks her up around half-past four
And then we goes home and smokes a draw
My nan's wicked, she likes toking blow
Sometimes we watches the Antiques Roadshow

I nick stereos, videos and TVs
But that's what you do when you're in the GLC
During the day I do the shopping for my mum down at Spar
Just so I can borrow my dad's fcuking car
When I goes out, I does a Ritzy's run
And when I gets home, I cutches my mum

Sometimes I go shopping in Matalan's
If the day's nice, I'll take both my nan's
I push 'em round in a wonky old trolley
Then I start to hit 'em with a brolly
'Cos you see I'm not nice all the time
But when I smokes a mix I feels quite fine

On Saturday night I goes fighting in Cwmbran
Then on Sundays I help my mum make some jam

At 6, I goes out for a drink and a fag
By 8, I'm horned-up and I'm up for a shag
By 10, I'm wrecked up and I pukes on my jeans
At 12, I goes home to use the washing machine

Yeah you knows it, it's the fcuking GLC,
Benny Blanco, fcuking Adam Hussein, you knows it,
Fcuking Mike Balls, Raphael, innit

I nick stereos, videos and TVs
My name is Mike Balls and I'm like a disease
I'll fcuk up your insides and bring you down to your knees
But when I threaten you with violence, I say thank you and please

Who's that man in the window pane
He's looking really fcuking crazy, I think it's Adam Hussein
He beat up loads of kids on their way home last night,
Cooked up some dinner and was really alright
I think he's not bad in his own kind of way
But if he doesn't like your face he'll beat you up 'cos you're gay

I nick stereos, videos and TVs
I love being a Clart, it's great to be me
Get with us, be one of the GLC
'Cos you knows it's us that you wanna be
Our crew is growing nearly every fcuking day
So get with us and don't be a fcuking gay

I stack shelves at night, help my gran pay the bills
But I gotta make sure that she takes the right pills
Myra Hindley and Ian Brady,
Most who have got nothing on my old lady
She's quite hard and she'll kick me in
So I've gotta clean up the rubbish and put out the bin
I got caught with the drugs, so now I'm in rehab
And now I'm thinking of my nan in a prefab

My name is Mike Balls and it's true what they say
I'm the hardest man in soccer violence around this way
I beat 50 people up, I'm just fcuking insane
I only visit my nan so she can polish my chain
She gives me a tenner to get her the draw
I don't know why she does 'cos I know she can score
She goes into Ringland to a guy named Del
And on Pension day she buys some fcuking Speed as well

...Took my gran shopping on Monday,
Took my gran shopping on Tuesday,
Took my gran shopping on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Chilled on Sunday [repeats]

This post has been edited by Skunkchild: 17 April 2005 - 05:04 PM

[Big E]

Good work fella, however....

on the verse......

I nick stereos, videos and TVs
But that's what you do when you're in the GLC
During the day I do the shopping for my mum down at Spar
Just so I can borrow my dad's fcuking car
When I goes out, I does a Ritzy's run
And when I gets home, I touches my mum

It should be "cutches" my mum - which, I'm reliably informed by my welsh girlfriend, means to give someone a cuddle....

Ahh - isn't that sweet....... Far better than "touches my mum" which makes the whole thing a bit sick.....

INNIT?

[Dr_Thoom]

"I watch TV in bed, it really is perfection
?????????????????????????????"

"I watch TV in bed, it really is perfection
Then i w_anks over my stamp collection"

This post has been edited by Dr_Thoom: 27 September 2004 - 12:39 PM

[duke1401]

Cheers for those few corrections

[timetodash]

On Saturday night I goes fighting in Cwmbran
Then on Sundays I help my mum make some jam

This post has been edited by timetodash: 02 October 2004 - 07:09 PM

[clartdude]

Speaking of on the radio...i was listening to Annie Nightingale (Her Royal Clartness!!) *bows* last satdee and got a *sings in a Roy Castle stylee* dedication to yous lot on this here GLC Forumthingy!

Safety In...... a nice secure safe!

FORUM DEDICATION ON RADIO 1

This post has been edited by clartdude: 02 October 2004 - 07:23 PM

[duke1401]

Looks like that's all the lyrics corrected, innit?

[jim_dunk]

duke1401, on Oct 8 2004, 04:33 AM, said:

Looks like that's all the lyrics corrected, innit?

Just a few nit-picks 'cos I can't get to sleep...


Big up to anyone who's getting involved in care & community

Big up to anyone who's been involved in care & community


Went out to Risker for a quick fcuking blast

Went out to Risca for a quick fcuking blast


Then I w@nks over my stamp collection

Then I w@nks over my lush stamp collection


Myra Hindley and Ian Brady,
Most who have got nothing on my old lady

Myra Hindley and Ian Brady,
Those two have got nothing on my old lady


Great work clart - knowsit

[licecomb]

"There's a shimmy in town, it's drug money I'm exchanging"

If you see me in town, it's drug money I'm exchanging.

[glcfootsoldier]

John Peel
Oh dear, right, errr seem to have a slight problem with the previous record, that was a Dutch dance duo called Animal Amsterdam Magic, on a Dutch label, I picked that up at a car boot sale 2 weeks ago, but anyway here's something by the GLC, or the Goldie Lookin' Chain, as they like to be known, and its a song all about grandmothers:

Eggsy (sped up)
Big up to anyone who's been involved in care & community,
'Cos it's the GLC back again,
With another rave anthem for you to feast on, ya bastards.

John Peel
Oh, terribly sorry that was the wrong speed, I'll start again.

Eggsy
Big up to anyone who's been involved in care & community,
'Cos it's the GLC back again,
With another rave anthem for you to feast on, ya bastards.

I nick stereos, videos and TVs,
But when I'm feeling nice I helps cats out of trees,
I'm really nice but you don't know that,
Because I'll beat you up, cos you look like a twat.

2 Hats
Nicked a car in the day, driving real fast,
Went out to Risca for a quick fucking blast,
When I've finished my run, it's back home for buns,
With my mum and her mates, watching re-runs.

Eggsy
By day I sells draw with my mates you see,
But at night I likes to watch romantic comedy.

Xain
I likes to watch Friends and Cheers and Frasier,
But during the day I might cut you with a razor.

Adam
You know I likes hip-hop, you know there's no stopping,
But I gotta go, to take my nan out shopping.

Xain
During the day, I gotta clean the house,
But you knows I can sort you out with an ounce.

Eggsy
If you see me in town, it's drug money I'm exchanging,
But when I'm at home, I'm mainly flower arranging,
I likes the yellow daisies and the red roses too,
But when I've finished that, it's back to sniffing glue.

Adam
I watch TV in bed, it really is perfection,
Then I w@nks over my stamp collection,
'Cos that's what I does when I gets home,
'Cos the Queen's fucking head gives me a big fucking bone.

Eggsy
You might be hard, even harder than me,
But I bet you can't look after a fucking Bonsai tree.

Xain
Had a fight with some kids, and we kicked their arse,
Then I took my kid sister to a ballet class.

Eggsy,
Every beating I does
No matter how hard it is, no matter how many people I wreck up,
I always cleans up the blood off my hands and trackie afterwards, innit.

Adam
Here we go, Benny Blanco,
I lives up my nan's, I told you all before,
She's not very rich, in fact she's fucking poor,
Not 'cos she blew it on fags and a blow,
But she's addicted to fucking Bingo,
I takes her there every Tuesday night,
Then it's off to Voodoo's for a fight,
I picks her up around half-past four,
And then we goes home and smokes the draw,
My nan's wicked, she likes toking blow,
Sometimes we watches the Antiques Roadshow.

Xain
I nick stereos, videos and TVs,
But that's what you do when you're in the GLC,
During the day I do the shopping for my mum down at Spar,
Just so I can borrow my dad's fucking car.

Billy
When I goes out, I does a Ritzy's run,
And when I gets home, I touches my mum.

Adam
Sometimes I go shopping in Matalan's,
If the day's nice, I'll take both my nan's,
I push 'em round in a wonky old trolley,
Then I start to hit 'em with a brolly,
'Cos you see I'm not nice all the time,
But when I smokes a mix I feels quite fine.

Xain
On Saturday night I goes fighting in Cwmbran,
Then on Sundays I help my mum make some jam.

Mike
At 6, I goes out for a drink and a fag,
By 8, I'm horned-up and I'm up for a shag,
By 10, I'm wrecked up and I pukes on my jeans,
At 12, I goes home to use the washing machine.

Xain
Yeah you knows it, it's the fucking GLC,
Benny Blanco, fucking Adam Hussein, you knows it,
Fucking Mike Balls, Raphael, innit.

Mike
I nick stereos, videos and TVs,
My name is Mike Balls and I'm like a disease,
I'll fuck up your insides and bring you down to your knees,
But when I threaten you with violence, I say thank you and please.

Eggsy
Who's that man in the window pane,
He's looking really fucking crazy, I think it's Adam Hussein,
He beat up loads of kids on their way home last night,
Cooked up some dinner and was really alright,
I think he's not bad in his own kind of way,
But if he doesn't like your face he'll beat you up 'cos you're gay.

Adam
I nick stereos, videos and TVs,
I love being a Clart, it's great to be me,
Get with us, be one of the GLC,
'Cos you knows it's us that you wanna be,
Our crew is growing nearly every fucking day,
So get with us and don't be a fucking gay.

Xain
I stack shelves at night, help my gran pay the bills,
But I gotta make sure that she takes the right pills.

Eggsy
Myra Hindley and Ian Brady,
Those two have got nothing on my old lady,
She's quite hard and she'll kick me in,
So I've gotta clean up the rubbish and put out the bin.

Billy
I got caught with the drugs, so now I'm in rehab,
And now I'm thinking of my nan in a prefab.

Mike
My name is Mike Balls and it's true what they say,
I'm the hardest man in soccer violence around this way,
I beat 50 people up, I'm just fucking insane,
I only visit my nan so she can polish my chain,
She gives me a tenner to get her the draw,
I don't know why she does 'cos I know she can score,
She goes into Ringland to a guy named Del,
And on Pension day she buys some fucking speed as well!

...Took my gran shopping on Monday,
Took my gran shopping on Tuesday,
Took my gran shopping on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Chilled on Sunday [repeats]

Anybody know who does the John Peel (R.I.P) impression?

This post has been edited by glcfootsoldier: 27 November 2005 - 12:30 PM

[irushforth]

Big E, on Sep 27 2004, 09:36 AM, said:

It should be "cutches" my mum - which, I'm reliably informed by my welsh girlfriend, means to give someone a cuddle....

Ahh - isn't that sweet....... Far better than "touches my mum" which makes the whole thing a bit sick.....

INNIT?

It's spelt 'cwtches' innit? Welsh-style. During a recent interview (think it was the Channel M thing?) they were asked did they ever rap in Welsh? They said no but there were odd words used, but couldn't give any specific examples at the time. Well, 'cwtches' is one.

Apparently it's the Welsh nation's favourite word. People are even including it in their wedding vows - awww, bless:

http://news.bbc.co.u...les/6521971.stm

Wonder if it's the derivation of the baby-talk phrase 'cutchy-coo'??